What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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