Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
