This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I have demons in me.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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