margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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