I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I wish you could order shots online.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
