Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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