My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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