i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize