do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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