my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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