just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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