god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
