eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
