Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
