too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
it was like eating out sand paper
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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