we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i dont even know how to be here
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
