Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
