Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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