Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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