i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
