TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
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I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
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i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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