You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
No stitches, just platelets and will power
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
