i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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