I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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