after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
