It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
