Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize