Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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