hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
