toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
