I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
