brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
