Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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