What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
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