so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
