There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Terrible idea I love it
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize