he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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