I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
