for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
