is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
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