I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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