He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
