At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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