well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
