Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
