saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
