Kiss
Puke
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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