I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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