I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
