Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
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Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
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Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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