Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
