how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
