Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
