omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing