Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?

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(512): View more from Texas

You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?

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(646): View more from New York

I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(801): View more from Utah

He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".

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(352): View more from Florida

Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.

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(208): View more from Idaho

i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.

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(317): View more from Indiana

do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?

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(805): View more from California

I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy

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