You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
