I'm an idiot
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the day after is always just damage control
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?