Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her

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  (610): She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her http://tfl.nu/saue
  Replies (21) Good night (5055) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide

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  (727): He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide http://tfl.nu/4asu
  Replies (7) Good night (639) Bad night (3441)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home

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  (910): my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home http://tfl.nu/9si8
  Replies (17) Good night (999) Bad night (3887)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  I've always been the spiritual type.

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  (702): When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion. (1-702): I've always been the spiritual type. http://tfl.nu/v0oc
  Replies (27) Good night (7812) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"

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  (413): Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW" http://tfl.nu/hdte
  Replies (28) Good night (6993) Bad night (1512)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.

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  (540): It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd. http://tfl.nu/h39y
  Replies (8) Good night (2415) Bad night (1272)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY

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  (970): Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY http://tfl.nu/vtkd
  Replies (6) Good night (2395) Bad night (940)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!

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  (512): Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?! http://tfl.nu/k4mm
  Replies (17) Good night (853) Bad night (3612)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.

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  (330): Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce. http://tfl.nu/fes5
  Replies (5) Good night (563) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.

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  (562): Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works. http://tfl.nu/5yc6
  Replies (3) Good night (322) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....

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  (570): I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are.... http://tfl.nu/bp2s
  Replies (6) Good night (593) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.

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  (501): Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys. http://tfl.nu/a792
  Replies (3) Good night (1222) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment

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  (732): After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment http://tfl.nu/eznb
  Replies (2) Good night (806) Bad night (217)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.

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  (714): I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus. http://tfl.nu/l340
  Replies (0) Good night (408) Bad night (148)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.

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  (813): Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me. http://tfl.nu/mgc8
  Replies (6) Good night (399) Bad night (151)

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