used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
