All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
