Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
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You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
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Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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