I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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