Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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