worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
